Saturday, October 15, 2005

Misreading the Acts of the Apostles: Thou Shall Coverest Thy Butt

From the Los Angeles Times:

THE STATE

Study Reveals Vast Scope of Priest Abuse

  • Clerics accused of molestation worked in three-fourths of the 288 parishes in the L.A. Archdiocese, a Times analysis finds.

  • I'm at a loss here. In Luke's groundbreaking history, "The Acts of the Apostles," he recounts the Ananias and Sapphira episode where they told the church they were going to sell a property and donate the proceeds. But they reconsider and keep the lion's share for themselves and give a fraction to the church. And claim to give the entire proceeds.

    Apparently God was a lot more hands-on back then, and this hypocrisy really hocked him off. He had the Holy Spirit tattle on them to Peter. Peter asked Ananias why he welshed on his promise and Ananias dropped dead.

    Peter sat back and waited for Sapphira to show up. It took her about 3 hours (Acts 5:7) and when she finally swung by, Peter asked, "So, you sold the land. How much did thou getteth for it?"
    And Sapphira said, "I did thou get a niceth chunketh for it."
    Peter replied, "The Holy Spirit telleth me something different."
    Sapphira exclaimed "Holy smoke!" And dropped dead.

    Now that's what I call a religion.
    *By the way, nice bit of detail on Luke's part to mention that Peter had to wait 3 hours on Sapphira. Women and their shopping.

    1 comment:

    SkyWriter said...

    I would actually read the Bible if you would Tundra-Kat-ize all the books. Speaking of which, I just finished an assignment related to Esther 4:14 "At such a time as this." I wrote from the perspective of a businessman of a different faith than me. Totally nailed it. Being anti-dogma pays off sometimes.