Thursday, November 03, 2005

Guy Fawkes Day, not for the faint of heart

Feigning shock, the People's Daily Online reports today that I. Lewis "Scooter" Libby pled not guilty in the CIA leak case. Then they indulged in some idle speculation of what the "I" stands for - Ignatius? Iago? Ichabod? Well, Ichabod would work, as he works in a headless Administration.

Mar del Plata, not just for summits anymore. Reuters reports that at least 70 federal police fell ill to lasagna.

President Bush immediately raised the terror alert to marinara and made menacing gestures to the fettucine alfredo.

I could let the cynicism/skepticism run rampant on this one, but I'll restrain myself.

Please celebrate Guy Fawkes Day sensibly.
According to a web site that I cannot vouchsafe, Blair for sure - and maybe Bush! - are planning false flag ops on Saturday, 5 November 2005. This is distressing. Guy Fawkes Day is one of my favorite holidays of the year. You may know it better as The Popish Plot. In the best Catholic tradition, Guy Fawkes was found hiding in the cellar of Parliament with a bunch of barrels of gunpowder. But the guy who had the matches stopped at a pub and one thing led to another, and he forgot about Guy. So Guy is huddling in the cellar, getting bent out of shape, finally hears a noise and jumps out yelling "It's about time, you lousy rotten &$(@#." Needless to say, the MP who snuck down there for a swig without sharing with those cheapskate MPs from Wales, was taken aback.
Anyway, no matches, damp cellar - Guy never stood a chance.

Kind of ironic, really. After Spain and Portugal pulled off all those auto-da-fes and then in London - nothing. Not even sparklers.

What they're not telling us about the bird flu. You'll lose your feathers. Naked chickens. All over the place. Worse, naked Canadian geese. I harbor no ill will towards Canadian geese, but they are flying sacks of poop (this is a family blog). Picture that naked. And not just birds.
But President Bush has a plan. We're going to give Rumsfeld's company, Gilead Pharmaceuticals, a gabillion dollars. Then they're going to help us fight the Killer Flu with vaccines made from last year's flu. Ha ha! That's like facing a pitcher with nothing more than his stats from last season. Wait, that's a bad analogy. Give me a moment.

And finally, Hawaii took upon themselves to conclusively prove that you should NOT pour concrete into sewer pipes. The Hawaii Channel informs us that if you do indeed pour concrete into sewer pipes, raw sewage gets detoured. In this case, into people's homes and parking lots. Alertly, signs were posted stating "Warning, this is toxic and dangerous."
A big thanks to Hawaii for setting that straight.

1 comment:

SkyWriter said...

Poor Guy. What a lame ass. Excellent post as ever.