Thursday, January 26, 2006

The enemy of my enemy is my what?

Maybe the equation for Sun Tzu and von Clausewitz worked like this: the enemy of my enemy is my friend. Certainly that's how the Irish read it. They read it that way in 1798 (it didn't quite work out). They read it that way in 1848 (it didn't work). And they read it that way in 1916 (didn't work out then either).

But I'll be damned if it didn't pan out this time.

Byline: Tehran, Iran.
Iraqi cleric Muqtada al-Sadr announced that his Mahdi Army is ready to come to Iran's aid if attacked.

How about that? We got Iraq and Iran to stand shoulder to shoulder, united, against a common enemy. That the common enemy is us we won't dwell on.

Iran and Iraq, as well as several other nations, are somewhat perturbed by Israel's saber-rattling. Naturally, the United States has not been remiss in antagonizing its erstwhile allies - the United Kingdom and Israel. Washington is ticked off at London for slipping that we wanted to bomb Al-Jeezera to kingdom come because we didn't like their reporting. Israel is mad at us for not muzzling Pat Robertson and his "I've come down from the mount and God told me he's mad at Ariel Sharon and that's why God smote Ariel."

The rest of the world is busy setting up one colossal entente, and keeping us out of it.

Friday, January 20, 2006

News from around the world with scant regard for punctuation

Greenpeace and Sierra Club have proposed adding Iraqi minorities to Endangered Species List.

Pat Robertson on the rebuttal:
And so it was foretold in the Book of Judges!
It came to pass that United States Army said unto the British Army, Come up with me into my lot, that we may fight against the Canaanites, er, terrorists, and I will likewise will go with thee into thy lot. By the way, what is your lot?
And the British Army said, We will tell thou later.

So the two armies went up and the LORD delivered the Canaanites, er terrorists. (How about this - we'll just sticketh with Canaanites for the purpose of this homily/rebuttal.) They found Al-Zarqawi in Wahdah district in Baghdad, and cut off his thumbs and his great toes.
It wasn't Al-Zarqawi. And the armies said Whoopeth, pardon us. And left note with thy insurance information.

So it came to pass a little later that spies saw a man coming out of Capitol Hill and they said unto him, Shew us the entrance into Capitol Hill and we will shew you a goodeth time. Ask for Abramoff. And the man shewed them the entrance, and they smote the Capitol with the edge of the sword. But they letteth go the man. And his family, even though they weren't parteth of the original deal. And the man said what a bunch of welshers.

And then the children of United States did evil in the sight of the LORD and filibustered Pres. Bush's Supreme Court nomination. And he delivered them into the hands of the spoilers that spoiled them.
Okay, I'm not really what that line means either.

And the LORD left those nations, without driving them out hastily, neither delivered he them into the hands of Al-Zarqawi.

And the LORD doesn't like fat men.

All of this is in Judges 1- 3.

Go, rest in peace.

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

Support your (campaign) donors

Lt. Col. Maginnis (Ret.) is concerned about Pinnacle Armor's Dragon Skin. Dragon Skin is the body armor that troops getting deployed to Iraq/Afghanisan are buying with their own money. (That would be $5000-$6000 a pop.)

Maginnis' evaluation? Let's go to his appearance on Jim Lehrer Newshour:
Maginnis: And, you know, the contracting people as well as the Army scientists say, look, be careful with dragon skin because it's good for a knife fight but we don't want to take it to Iraq because of the ballistic issues.
(Reporter) Margaret Warner: What do you mean the ballistic issues?
Maginnis: Well, I can't tell you the exact because it's classified.
MARGARET WARNER: And what's your very brief explanation of why 80 percent of these soldiers did suffer wounds that went into the gaps?
LT. COL. ROBERT MAGINNIS (Ret.): You know, those that were, you know, yes, there are places that you can shoot them. And it depends upon their position and so forth.
One follow up, from Soldiers For The Truth - if troops are wearing Dragon Skin (which they would have purchased on their own) and get killed, their beneficiaries might not get the death benefit.

Read the article to believe it.

Thursday, January 12, 2006

To sum up

I'm tired, so I'm going to lay out my argument for withdrawing the troops - immediately - in a few words.

WE, the United States, are killing most of the Iraqis.
WE, the United States, are conducting torture throughout Iraq.
WE, the United States, are using weapons of mass destruction in Iraq.
WE, the United States, are levelling cities of Iraq.

Right. Iraq would be so much worse off if we withdrew in total and immediately.

*Link is to the Irish Independent, which requires a (free) subscription.

Thursday, January 05, 2006

I knew Cardinal Richelieu, and Pat Robertson, you're no Richelieu

The holy-rolling Reverend Pat Robertson, who went off his remaining meds some months ago and is free-falling into full-tilt dementia, came out with a pronouncement on the gravely ill Israeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon.

In a nutshell, it goes something like this:
He had it coming.

Robertson elaborated, as much as one can when one is non compis mentis, "He's dividing God's land. And I say 'Woe unto any prime minister of Israel who takes a similar course to appease the E.U., the United Nations, of the United States of America.' God says 'This land belongs to me. You better leave it alone.'"

God's office put out a brief comment:
For the last time, my land is Hawaii. I cursed Israel and every godforsaken fool that wants it, lives in it, or makes pilgrimages to it, and I'll curse it again.

In a not-so-surprising turn of events, the Bush White House has belatedly realized that Robertson is a bad pony and they're not betting on him anymore. Bush, who is on a first name basis with God, is praying for Sharon's recovery. That crazy Bush - always willing to put himself out there for his friends.

The Israeli ambassador, Daniel Ayalon, compared Robertson to Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. The same guy who said the Holocaust never happened, and maybe all of Israel should be transplanted to Europe. Just calling it like it is.