Thursday, May 11, 2006

If you start in Bizarro World, then where the hell are we now?

This is why we drink. How we refrain from assaulting the 29% who still like Bush is a testament to our restraint. Or it's the drunken stupor that prevents eye-hand coordination necessary to carry out a thorough thrashing.

The
Dept of Justice (ha!) announced today they’re calling off the NSA wiretapping investigation because of national security. To wit, the DoJ lawyers had been denied security clearance. How handy.

Then Congress – who finally got a good whiff of what America’s thinking outside the Beltway, got scared and started bringing bills to the floor to protect us & our cell phone records from the government.* And then the
second bill suddenly disappeared.

Rupert Murdoch
co-hosts a fundraiser for – wait for it – HILLARY CLINTON. The Fox News spin machine getting geared up for that psycho witch. The silver lining is that it has EVERYONE as freaked out as I am.

*WAY too late in the game for this. A Congressional bill infringing on Bush’s theater of movement? The infrastructure is there and they’re going to keep on spying on us. Has anyone heard from that
AT&T whistleblower since he outed AT&T?

Things that make you go "hmmm." Or maybe "holy sh*t!"*

Iran, whose march to a bourse trading oil in Euros was postponed in March, announced today (11 May 2006) that they will start in July. (Saddam was talking about doing the same thing in 2000.)

Raw Story, also today, reports that two carrier groups are steaming to the Middle East.

Cheney baits Putin, who bites back and tells us that the Cold War is not over but rather is accelerating.

Hmmm.

Now, I’ve been wrong on a lot of things. I thought for sure there would be a draft by January 2005. However, excepting the military draft, I UNDERESTIMATED the gravity of the crisis and crimes against people committed by BushCo.

Then again, maybe I’m just cranky because the White Sox game got rained out.


*In a perverse sense of humor, I linked back to myself.

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

Goss hotfoots it out of CIA, Cubs interested

Porter Goss, former Representative of Florida's 14th district, skipped out on the CIA last Friday (5 May 2006). At least he had the decency not to trot out that tired line "spend more time with the family." On the other hand, he didn't give a reason at all. His no. 2, CIA Executive Director Kyle Foggo is in hot water as the defense bribes investigation is turning his name up more and more.

And old
Porter's name is rumored to be turning up in ever-expanding Duke Cunningham investigation. That the Duke is convicted hasn't stopped the investigation, which allegedly involves such stalwart players as the Watergate Hotel, hookers, drugs, and limos.

Chicago Cubs General Manager Jim Hendry immediately expressed an interest in signing Goss. "We need a good left-handed starter." Hendry was not appraised of the fact that Goss is right handed.

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

Back from the brink

Two outs. Bottom of the 11th inning.

In extra innings, Pablo Ozuna (Pablo Ozuna!) hits a double. Taking advantage of the Mariner outfielders playing deep, at the warning track.

Then little Juan Uribe, o-for-4, comes up. And hits a single, bringing in Ozuna. Ozuna!

FINAL
Mariners 5
White Sox 6

Thank you, and good night.

The Sox are going to kill me

[Updated]
White Sox are going to extra innings. Pablo Ozuna!

-------------------
But I'll take it.

2 outs, bottom of the 9th.

Pablo Ozuna hits a home run.

Seattle 5
White Sox 5

Pablo Ozuna!

Bottom of the 8th

Bottom of the 8th.

Thome's up.
Maybe we should offer up Southpaw as a sacrifice. Baseball likes sacrifices.
Thome grounded out to 2nd.
Fire up the grill.

Konerko up.
Seattle's switching pitchers.

And now to the top of the 9th.

Contemplating suicidal tendencies

Still top of the 8th inning, but now it is

Seattle 5
White Sox 4

And Carl "There Are No Dinosaurs" Everett is getting an intentional walk.

Will the pain ever stop?

And back onto the ledge

Seattle just tied it up, 4-4, top of the 8th inning.

Stupid Jake Gyllenhaal.

Freddy Garcia spots Jake Gyllenhaal

Freddy Garcia spotted Jake Gyllenhaal in the stands and had Ozzie take him out. The Sox are up 4-2, so what the hell. If that Venezuelan lunatic wants to run amuck in the stands chasing Gyllenhaal, let him.

Climbing back in from the ledge

Bottom of the 7th inning.
Crede just hit a grand slam.

Mariners 1
White Sox 4

Brought in Thome, Konerko, and AJ.

I'm starting to think about coming in from the ledge.

Oh, and Ross Gload just singled. And stole second base.

What is it about Jake Gyllenhaal that cracks me up?

If the Gilded Moose has something on Jake Gyllenhaal, it's guaranteed to crack me up.

Check out the link to see what Jake does with bicycle shorts.

Right now, the Sox are losing to the Mariners

Sure, it's only the 7th inning, and the score is 1-0, and Carl "The Are No Dinosaurs" Everett is batting and getting booed, but it's never too early to climb out onto the ledge and panic.

On the other hand, tomorrow I'm taking a 1/2 day to catch the game AND it's dollar dog day. (Limit 4 per purchase.)